Winston Churchill once said, “However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.” Smart guy. So I’m checking in with an update on my New Year’s Resolutions, and life in general. Some things are going along swimmingly, some things, not so much.
Workout goals are being met. I am getting to the gym regularly and lifting heavier. I love lifting weights. I love how you can easily assess progress. How much weight can you lift, and how many times can you lift it? Check. After several years of pretty much sticking with the machines for my lower body because of my crap ankle, I am back in the free weight room and I can squat my weight using the Smith machine. (I am doing so with uber-focus lest the aforementioned crap ankle seize an opportunity and blow.) My long-term fitness goal is to be able to still move my own couch when I’m 80+ years old.
My walking campaign is also progressing. One day last week I did 3 miles at a pace of 11:08 min/mi, which is pretty damn fast. (I was seriously impressed with myself that day and was a little sad that the mayor didn’t meet me at the finish with a gold medal. Life can be so disappointing.) I also walked a private half marathon one day, just to see if I could do it. 13.1 miles at an average pace of 12:20 min/mi., finishing in 2:41:49. Not bad, but I would like to get that down so I could finish in the middle of the field in one of the Rock and Roll half marathons. (So fun.) I have already planned out what I want to have printed on my t-shirt – I Do What I Can. Words to live by. Sure, when I walk fast I look like a duck on amphetamines, but I’ll be an inspiration, right?
I haven’t lost any weight in the last few weeks, but I’m fairly certain my body fat % is coming down. Pants seem loser, body parts seem tighter. I’ve lost almost 4 inches around my ass in the last few months, almost 2 inches of that in the New Year with no weight loss, so something is going on. Apparently my ass and thighs, (especially my outer thighs, an area I refer to as my Thigh Balls) work as human Tupperware containers, and all leftovers are stored there. In Oct 2012, each thigh was only an inch smaller than my waist. What? How is that even possible? But, with a diet fairly low in fats and carbohydrates I have gone from a gallon size to a quart size Thigh Ball Tupperware. Hallelujah!
My biggest success in 2013 is…da da da duh (that’s a trumpet blast, in case you were wondering,) I am now Diet Coke free!!! Amazing! After years and years of trying to quit I think I’ve finally done it! Pre-resolution I was up to about 10-12 a day.
The first 3 days were hell and I seriously considered checking myself in to a monitored detox facility for my own protection, as well as for the safety of everyone in my community. But now it’s not a problem. I am still using artificial sweeteners though. I’ve discovered Mi0 Liquid Water Enhancer, found in grocery stores near the Crystal Light. It comes packaged in a little squirt bottle (1.6 oz) so you can just squeeze drops in to your water until it’s the flavor and sweetness you like. It’s made with sucralose, which is ranked as “safe” by the consumer advocacy group Center for Science in the Public Interest.
Progress, not perfection, people.
Speaking of not perfection…in my “About Me” article I said I was working on my ACE Personal Trainer Certification. That is true – I am working on it, ever so slowly, and with much bitching and moaning. I find myself wondering what the hell I was thinking when I thought that was a good idea. Do you have any idea how many body parts we have? It’s ridiculous. And did you know we are finely tuned machines, the mechanics of which I was almost wholly unaware of before beginning my course work (and only somewhat more familiar with now?) Ugh. I am going to try to power through it in Feb. and March. I liken my ability to learn kinesiology and physiology to that of a chimp learning to speak.It is, perhaps, not ultimately impossible, but it does seem highly unlikely.
No, no…that’s a bad attitude. I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things. (My new mantra.) But do I want to? Double ugh.
The other area I find myself having a hard time with is not caring about how fast or far I’m going and such, a goal I mentioned in my 12 week fitness plan. I lied. I do care. A lot. I want to not care, really, but I am competitive by nature. My competitiveness is ever so much more mature than it used to be though. Now I pretty much just measure my success against my own yesterday. Make sense? In other words, I measure myself against myself. So that’s a sign I’m growing up, right? (I’ll be 51 in March. Let’s hope so.) I officially give up this resolution. I like measuring things. Always have. If I pasted together all the charts I have made in my lifetime I am fairly certain they would circle the globe. Give me Sharpies or give me death!
Too much? Whatever. I’m letting that one go.
So in regard to my resolutions, and in conclusion, I will close with another Churchill quote.
“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”
Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention.
“We shall never surrender.”
*The plural “we” here refers to me and my thigh balls.
–How are you guys doing thus far? I have heard through the grapevine (i.e. facebook.com/ConfettiDrop,) reports of great successes. Share here, your victories, as well as your trials and tribulations.