Before and After, and Before and After, and So On and So On…
Several people have commented that my “before” picture is pretty good.
I’m not arguing. I am at a relatively healthy weight, and am now within 10 pounds of my goal. And honestly, if I didn’t carry 5 lbs in fleshy little Tupperware containers on the side of each thigh I’d be fine with where I am now. But I like a leaner, more muscular look. It’s not everyone’s thing, but it’s my thing.
So anyway, I thought I’d get real here. I honestly don’t have any photos from when I was at my heaviest. (60 pounds or so heavier than I am now. And no, I wasn’t pregnant. Add another 30 lbs to get me to my pregnancy weight.) One friend has told me she has a few snapshots, but I haven’t seen them. Perhaps she’s doing me a favor. I do, however, have a pair of my old pants. They’re size 16, with an elastic waist. At the time they were pretty much the only thing I had that fit, and it was a just barely, seam popping kind of fit at that. Here is a photo of me in those pants now.
Note that the button is missing. On the fateful day that that button popped off I knew I really had to get my sh*t together. When your elastic waist pants blow- out it’s a sure sign something MUST be done.
So I joined a gym, started lifting weights, and was a regular at the local aerobics classes. And it worked! Sure, I wore ridiculous early 90’s clothes and my hair was a color not found in nature, but man-oh-man did I get in shape. It was then that I received what I still regard as the best compliment of my lifetime. An old friend I hadn’t seen in 60 pounds or so (it’s a kind of time measurement,) took one look at me and said, “You bitch.” Ahh, those were the days.) I weighed about 15 pounds less than I do now and I was an uber-fit aerobics instructor. Jazzercise, baby. Rocking the leotards. Here’s a photo of me, circa 1991, with my friend Jeo.
I have, over the years floated up, down and around my current weight, by 10-20 pounds. I am fairly certain that I am always going to be a fit girl who occasionally has to wrestle my evil, Doritos- loving twin to the ground. You know how in horror movies when they beat back the monster, but they don’t make sure he’s totally dead, just mostly dead, and you want to scream at the screen, “Just kill it for God’s sake!” because you know the monster is going to resurface? Yup, that’s pretty much how it is for me with my inner fat girl. Here is one of my “before” pics from ‘09.
I am not sure if I take “before” pictures as a means of motivating myself, or as a form of punishment when I slack off and indulge, but, whatever, they are generally effective in getting me moving in the right direction again. Here is another picture of me in ’09, just 12 weeks after the above photo was taken, posing in a joke Halle Berry photo, belt and all.
But I’m an optimist, and someday I will emerge victorious for “realsies,” just like in the movies, and the Ms. Hyde side of me will be but a distant memory. Who knows, maybe this will be the last time I have to get “back” in shape.
I write this in the hope that it encourages you, no matter where you happen to find yourself right now. Trust me, I know sometimes when you gain weight or allow yourself to get out of shape, it can feel like that’s just how it is and forever will be. But our bodies are amazing little machines that respond to being taken care of and will reward us by becoming stronger, leaner, and healthier. It would be really cool if we could just dial in a weight on the scale and chant, “Make it so,” but sadly, sometimes in life you just have to do the hard work to get what you want. And sometimes you have to do it over and over again. So what? That’s what life is all about. You may fall, and you may fail. Big deal. It’s the getting back up to fight another day that tells people who you really are.
Here I am today.
I am a warrior.
What a great recounting. I have more before and after pictures than I can shake a stick at. It’s really quite embarrassing, to be honest. At least there’s a fairly consistent trend in them….I’m getting smaller. It’s only taken me years to get back down to my wedding weight (year 2000), but that’s okay. I’ll take it!! Slow and steady wins the race, right?? Great job and you look FABULOUS!!!! You always have a way of making me smile.
I just read your comment and added a song to my soundtrack. Remember that Miley Cyrus song from a few years ago, The Climb?
“I can almost see it.
That dream I’m dreaming, but
There’s a voice inside my head saying
You’ll never reach it
Every step I’m takin’
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin’
But I, I gotta keep tryin’
Gotta keep my head held high
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side
It’s the climb
What can I say? I’m a bit of a sap. But that’s kind of how life is, right? I mean we could just drink beers and eat donut holes at base camp but we keep making the climb! Yay us!
Congrats on your weight loss. Slow and steady is great!
Gaye
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And, I just fainted from being in awe of your hard work! Wow! Very inspirational. I can do it too….yes, I can!!
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Thanks Barbara. Girl, you ARE doing it!
Gaye
Gaye recently posted…Before and After, and Before and After, and So On and So On…
Gaye, I think you look fabulous! Fit and strong and womanly!
Can’t believe those two pics 12 weeks apart; that’s an amazing transformation!
As I get older, I worry less about the six pack and aesthetics and more about building a strong, resilient body.
Thanks for sharing your story and pics. Sure to inspire many!
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Oh, I absolutely agree with you on the strength thing. I would never want to sacrifice that for a number on a scale. (I would like to have a 2-4 pack someday though. It’s on my bucket list.) I’ve accepted that I’m a curvy girl, always, up and down the scale.
Taking this opportunity to tell you I love the videos on your blog. Great stuff.
Gaye
Gaye recently posted…Before and After, and Before and After, and So On and So On…
Love this, and I can so relate to it! Am on a course correction myself, in full crazypants mode, and I realize how goofy it looks to others, because I’m not significantly overweight… just over MY fittest, healthiest weight.
I’ve accepted the fact that I go in cycles; I naturally seem to do better with periods of relative abandon followed by highly motivated Kick Ass exercise/calorie cutting/weight loss. I’m even playing with intermittent fasting, and discovering that I like a daily rhythm of restraint/abundance better than a more normal “moderation” pattern. (Or at least now that it’s new; the novelty may soon wear off).
I’m now beginning to suspect that my “maintenance” plan, which I’m not bothering to figure out yet, will need to incorporate some sort of Feast/Famine food cycles and Lazy/SuperheroExerciser cycles on a weekly basis along with comfortable daily healthy routines. For me, constant moderation and vigilance seems to a but distracting and drains energy from other pursuits. And yeah, I know how crazy this sounds! But to each her own I guess, even if I know my “own” is a little nutty.
And you look FANTASTIC by the way! Thanks for sharing all the pics!
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Yes, clearly I’m a bit of a cycler too. I see it as a system of checks and balances. I drink too many cocktails, and eat too many Doritos and I’m having so much fun I don’t notice the costs. Then when I do, I fix it. A more mature person would probably notice sooner.
At least only once did I get so out of hand that I was at an unhealthy weight. My skin wishes I would get a handle on this and stop losing and gaining though. Or maybe that’s just a product of being 50. Hmmm. Somedays I wish I could just throw myself in a commercial dryer and go for a spin and have it shrink things up, like it does denim. 
Gaye
Gaye Pauroso recently posted…Before and After, and Before and After, and So On and So On…
You look awesome!!! I think your story is very motivational! It’s a constant battle/journey for all of us – you are totally rocking it!
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Thanks Kim. I would love to be able to rock shorts like you do! You have slammin’ legs. Maybe some day I will be able to comfortably part with my capris.
Gaye
Gaye recently posted…Heart Disease and My Dad
Omg,”fleshy little tupperware containers”, I love that descripton! I have them too and they seem to be the only thing that won’t get smaller!
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I know, right? So frustrating. When I was younger I toyed with the idea of having the Tupperware emptied through surgical means, but I guess I’ve been too influenced by the old protestant work ethic thing – I thought/think I should be able to do it on my own. But damn, it is tough. (They must be those really expensive containers – virtually leak proof.
)
On my mature days I have an amazing appreciation for the fact that I am just beyond lucky to have such healthy, working legs. But on my giant baby days I just want to shave a little off. Ugh. The fight between my higher self and base self.
Thanks for your comment.
Gaye
Gaye recently posted…Before and After, and Before and After, and So On and So On…
You are adorable! And look at those guns! I totally ‘get’ the fluctuating thing. Youve documented it in pictures so nicely. I think you wore the belt suit better than Halle!
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